You can be who you want to be even now

Q. Dear Mary, I've always had a feeling of inferiority. I always compare myself to others. I wonder how I look to others, and I feel self-loathing and depressed. I don't have confidence in myself at all. Even if I try hard, everything backfires, and often have collect self reflections, thinking "I should have done this more like her at that time," or "I should have done that more." My sister is the complete opposite of me. She is charming, good at study and sports, and loved by our parents and those around her. I've never been praised by parents. I'm sure I must have inherited only bad genes from my ancestors, or have some kind of disease. I can't sleep well at night because of the frustration, sadness, and emptiness. I've gained 15 kilos by eating like crazy. Will I be such miserable forever? (Emma, 19)

A. There are many opinions about whether our personality can be changed or not. Following personality traits have been psychologically proven to be "100% changeable." If you are the one who's always worried about not being able to change and wanting to change, try comparing yourself to these. Well, all of these applied me in the past, anyway.

People can be changed if he/she is:

Lack of self-confidence
Worried about what people think of him/her
Tend to think that everything is his/her fault
Having a strong obsession
Worried about events that have not yet happened
Perfectionist and neurotic
Critical of others, also worried about criticism from others
Having arbitrary expectations of people
Easily influenced by other people's matters and opinions
Worried that he/she has a seriously illness

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